Tuesday, September 19, 2006

What's cuter than Muppets ...?

While flipping around the channels the other day - something I hardly ever do anymore, thanks to TiVo - I ran across a horrifying cartoon: A Pup Named Scooby Doo. I only saw the "I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids!" denouement, but I got the gist of it: the adventures of the pint-size kid version of Fred, Daphne, Shaggy and Velma (who had bug-eye glasses even as a ... six year old? Eight year old? Bizarre ageless midget ... ?)

I always like to imagine the pitch meeting where someone proposes the "___Babies" version of whatever piece of entertainment product is feeling faded and tired. I believe it all started back in the 80s:

Executive number one: "Sure, Muppets are cute, but they could be cuter."

Executive number two: "You know what's cuter than Muppets? Babies!"

Executive number three: "That's it! Muppet BABIES!"

And a horrifying trend was born.

I think of this whenever I remember a certain trip to Paris with my friend Amy (that story will be next.) At one point we found ourselves in a hotel where the television had three channels, one per language - English, German and French.

The English-speaking channel was C-Span. Ugh.

The German-language channel was showing ten-year-old reruns of General Hospital.

"Sie sind die Liebe der Frau I am meisten in der Welt, Bobbi Spencer. Ich liebe nicht Laura! Warum riecht die Krankenschwesterstation?"

And on the French channel? Bébés De Muppet.

"Kermit, nous a laissés s'échapper de la pépinière et devenir célèbres et nous marier !"

"Mon Dieu, Piggi!"

So, what's next?

Designing Women Babies

Murphy Brown Babies

Ally McBabies

Law & Order & Babies

Grey's AnatoBabies

Survivor: Cook Islands: Babies

Before They Were "Friends" They Were "Baby Friends"

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Babies

Alias: Babies

BabyStar GalactiBabies


Blogger David said...

We can always adopt.

7:56 PM  
Blogger Broadsheet said...

You forgot Jerry Springer Babies (cause you know there are a LOT), Oprah Babies (the new religion!), and perhaps most horrific of all..... Rachel Ray Babies!!!

Agggh! My eyes, my eyes!!!

8:50 PM  
Blogger crumblord said...

That would be ... Rachael Rabies.

Deal or No Deal or Babies?

Wheel of Babies

I would say America's Next Top Model Babies, but you can bet that show is filming right now somewhere.

8:53 PM  
Blogger jwer said...

See, and here I thought I was being all clever with my incessant "Look! It's Jim Henson's ______ Babies!"


8:20 AM  
Blogger crumblord said...

Look! It's Jim Henson's Cigar Babies!

You just know there's a website devoted to this.

9:46 AM  
Anonymous Davy said...

Buffy babies? ... Be still my heart ... What would be better than Buffy fighting the forces of darkness from her Johnny Jump-Up and saving the world before naptime? And tweaking canon a bit and having Giles hanging around Sunnydale as Ripper?

10:11 AM  
Blogger Rindy said...

BabyStar GalactiBabies nearly killed me dead. Severe forcible sinus irrigation with Diet Coke is not a recommended nasal-wash procedure!

And: boy, davy, if there could only be a show with more Ripper on it. In a white T-shirt. Smoking. Phwoar.

12:32 PM  
Blogger Jason Rohrblogger said...

My fave baby shows are up on my blog. Thanks for the premise...

1:30 PM  

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